thankful

i've never been more thankful for anything in my entire life. 

healthy. happy. baby. 

thanksgiving feast

in honor of celebrating the holiday based on eating, here are some pics of Scarlett's first experience with food. organic brown rice cereal, YUMS!

excited about it.

trying it.

eeeehhh. 

i'm good with foot.
 

tears

third morning back to work there were tears when i left. from me, not her. when i am saying goodbye to this, how could there not be?

i may or may not being crying again right now just looking at this picture. ok, i am. any contact high from the excitement of the first day back has definitely worn off. ugh, this is hard.

pumping.

there was a major negative about returning to work i am sad to report {other than leaving Scarlett}.

pumping. pumping-schlumping. 

pumping in the pumping room {read: closet} with the constant fear that someone will ignore the "in use" sign and walk right on in. i positioned the chair so the door would hit the chair first to avoid any serious awkwardness. it is not attractive to see someone pumping breastmilk. it's horrifiying actually. suction cups. oh god.

um, also sucks to try to eat and pee and breathe and get da milk for da baby and check facebook in an already rushed break. and now i'm the crazy bag lady. pumping bag. freezer cooler bag. lunch bag. work bag. over it. but i still want to nurse, so wtf?

and by nurse, i guess i mean both meanings; nursing to feed my baby and nursing as my occupation.

back to work

last tuesday was my first day back to work after five months {so nice!} of maternity leave. it wasnt as hard as i imagined it to be. i cried the day before in anticipation of leaving Scarlett, but not when i actually left. i was pleasantly surprised by how the day went.

i think i was so nervous because i was dreading returning to the worst of the worst days of work. and in recent memory, those days were baa-aad {solely due to pregnancy}. i even laughed to myself on the drive that, wow, this is the first time in over a year that i've driven to work without feeling like absolute crap-o-la. i kind of forgot what it feels like to not feel like i'm going to barf all over town as soon as i get in the car. or like my head is spinning. or like i need to pull over to pee on the side of the road. or like i have to basically lay horizontal low rider style while driving so i can breathe. the drive was relaxing and i even got to work a little early! 

the first day was like the first day back at school except i was only one who left for summer break. i even packed my lunch and laid out my scrubs the night before! i felt popular and like sally field winning her second oscar, "you like me, you really like me!" with lots of high pitched hellos, how are yous, so good to see yous from excited co-workers.

i was a babbling fool all day. anyone and everyone who so much as glanced my direction from the attending physicians to the housekeeping staff were immediately informed, "today is my first day back from maternity leave! yes, a girl! her name is Scarlett! of course i have pictures!" with a too loud proud mamma voice and obscene toothy grin while shoving my iphone in their face; fave pics of baby S cued up.

i was sooo nervous about actually working because i was convinced i had lost all brain connectivity and the ability to think quickly for my patients. thankfully for me, i had an "easy assignment." thankfully for my patients, i surprised myself and remembered how to be a nurse. phew!

i wasn't too ocd with the babysitter either. i restricted myself to one text to check in with her. the hubs, however, may have gotten upwards of 50. but he already knows i'm crazy and i can't afford to scare the sitter away yet.

all in all, the day was almost empowering. like, hey, i can do this.  and of course, Scarlett is still alive and well, so that's a major plus. this isn't so horrific. i'm a working mom! si se puede!

busy last week

lots of happenings this last week - started work, david's mom nana sue visiting, aunt mo & uncle john & cousins visiting, setting up scarlett's nursery, rolling over and over and over, & starting rice cereal!! stories and pictures coming soon.

well, hello!

well, hello! look at me, I just rolled over!

pretty flowers

pretty flowers from the hubs after first day back. thanks love.

packed and ready

healthy breakfast and lunch packed in eco-friendly glass containers the night before first day back to work.

{let's see how long this lasts}

self control

i had to use serious self control to not purchase one of these from babygap last friday. my struggle at the store lied not only in knowing that these will eventually go on sale so i couldn't possibly justify paying full price, but also in not being able to decide which color i loved the most!

this time tomorrow

I will be at work. WORKING!

Trying to savor my last day of maternity leave.

scarlett & milly

Scarlett and Milly are besties. they don't actually know it yet. nor do they have the mental capacity to interact meaningfully with one another at this developmental stage. but they've hung out a bunch! usually sleeping in their strollers while us mammas walk and talk. about them. in front of them! outrage! one day they'll be able to say, "stop talkin' about me like i'm not here, mamma," a la shelby, steel magnolias, 1989. but, until then, the bitch sessions about our daughters not sleeping supportive mom convos will continue.

the Mills and Scarletta had a rare out of the stroller interaction at nick's crispy tacos this afternoon. both choose the fried fish tacos, nick's style. correct choice.

Scarett wonders, why are you upset, Mills? is it because i wore almost matching trendy trumpette socks? next time call ahead and we can coordinate! and you can borrow my headband if i can borrow your hat that the stranger lady complimented. thats what besties do!

sidenote: Milly is the daughter of my online mom friend, beth. today we reached another level in the friendship ladder: lunch with the husbands and another couple. wow, its getting super serious now. maybe i can stop calling her my online mom friend and graduate to a proper plain friend label? what do you think dating experts?

someone must be teething

constantly a finger on the gums and its drool city over here.

time with tia

tia katy is one of the hardest working friends i know. she's a 'zing assistant principal and teacher at a KIPP school in the east bay. awesome work. we were so happy when tia had a rare day off (thanks veterans!) on thursday and was able to have adventures with us. she also loves Scarlett, and spoils her, like a real relative, hence the designation tia.

we started with a 4 mile walk through golden gate park to the rose garden and back.

there were no roses in bloom and i actually took this pic in the san diego rose garden, but, i wanted a visual. you get the idea.

next we stopped to see tia katy's aunt, tia ann, and meet her new baby, the puppy, Bo. this photo by margy. serious sweetness.

after all that activity, it was time for a leisurely lunch at cafe du soleil. 

 

love sf cafes, even better on a sunny beautiful day. deelish. kate enjoyed a nice glass of red wine. jealous. 

i did indulge in some chocolate, though, while also indulging in tia holding/playing/singing/obsessing over the babe. 

i don't know who loves the other more. its very mutual. spesh when tia sings little mermaid. definite crowd-pleaser.

want to know what 'zing means? watch the most recent epidsode of tia katy's (and my) fave show, 30Rock. and, ps, tia is the queen of word shorts, i totes def steal mats from her.

giggles

seriously. heart exploding with love and wonder. i know what other moms are talking about when they say your love keeps growing. exponential growth after hearing a real giggle! unbelievable, its like a drug. high as a kite with happiness right now.

{please excuse my weird noises i am making to induce her giggles, but if you're a mom, you understand. i'll do anything to get more of this addicting baby crack laughter}

more sunnies

apparently, it doesn't get old. these sunnies and the pic courtesy of auntie k.

receding hairline

i was told about the hair loss. it was going to start falling out after the baby was born. no biggie, i've got thick hair.

um, i wasn't prepared for the balding!!

when does this stop? do i need hair club for men slash new mammas? is it safe to use rogaine while breastfeeding? serious clumps, constantly in my hands, on the floor, all over Scarlett.  

gross. 

i had good hair prebaby! wtf-skis? someone please give me promising news. seriously, when does this stop?

blowing bubbles

new fave trick: blowing spit bubbles

new york in the fall

meghann's neighborhood is beyond beautiful and we had a great time walking around with scarlett, step and mac. we were quite the stroller brigade! {but, yes, scarlett had her own stroller, this was just for the picture}

 

it was so wonderful to see the leaves changing and breathe the crisp air. ah, new york in the fall.

{i was glad it was for the weekend only, though. i know what comes after fall, and i don't do well in freezing-cold-ness.}

step & scarlett meet again

first look.

first touch.

first kiss?

too tired

so much to fill in on from our cross country travels I don't know where to begin...

but sorry to say that after a 17 hour travel day on sunday, three hour time difference, day light savings change, baby not sleeping, hosting out of town friends on monday and giving two presentations today at the hospital, i'm too tired to string some stories and photos together and would rather just veg on the couch. sigh.

look at Scarlett's new trick though!

step & scarlett

step & scarlett met for the first time in august. love at first sight? i'd say.

tomorrow they will meet again because we are headed to new york to see my bestie, meghann, and her absolutely adorable and beautiful family. yay! i mean, seriously, look at them.

pictures of the babes and tales of mom-ventures together coming soon!

pumpkin chocolate chip cookies

fall fave pumpkin cookie. yumskies.

honesty corner, online mom dating update

so my new mom friend, beth {who i met on craigslist}, and i have gone out on a couple more mom dates. turns out we have a lot in common and get along great. her baby is one week younger than Scarlett, also a long and lean string bean. her and her husband went to a rival college of david's and mine, always good to have some inherent competition in a budding relationship. we seem to come from similar backgrounds, and though i haven't confirmed this, i'm guessing from her maiden name that she's irish like me. she's really funny too. necessary. we exchanged phone numbers, started texting each other, chatted with tmi about our ta-tas and hoo-haas as only new mothers can. things were progressing as any modern day relationship would.

but then, she facebook friended me! i was about to hit confirm to solidify our friendship when i realized that i had just posted this blog as my status update. slight internal freak out. i didn't want her to check my fb profile and subsequently check this blog and then read that i posted about meeting her online. what would she think? what if she defriend me, both in life and on facebook! i felt like i needed to tell her about the blog first before she happened upon it herself. but how to do that? fb message? no, too informal and could be misconstrued. text? same problem. phone call? potentially awkward. so i did what i normally do in indecisive situations. nothing.

a couple days later, we met for our neighborhood's halloween pet parade. both husbands would be meeting each other for the first time. high pressure. upon meeting, introductions ensued, compliments to the cute babies ensued, complaints about the rain ensued, and then...dun, dun, dun...she totally called me out.

"maggie, i friended you on facebook."

uhh...silence. awkward laughter. eyes darting around to dogs in superwoman and pumpkin costumes for someone to please save me. instead of just saying, oh sorry, i don't check fb that often, i excruciatingly ramble on about how i didn't want her to read the blog, and, in effect, tell her that i purposefully did not accept her friend request. fail.

i don't know if i'm ready for such high tech technicalities to potentially sabotage new friendships. maybe online mom dating just isn't for me! but i think {hope} we're gonna make it through. we should to stay together for the babes, right? now we have a funny story to look back on and laugh at, right?

wanna go on a walk tomorrow, beth? please?!

sunnies at night

pretty sure i also told myself i was never going to take a picture of baby Scarlett wearing adult sunglasses. c'mon, be original. how many times have we seen this pic before? but again, for unknown reasons, surges in my body force me to do lame mom-things* before my brain can even stop them. 

ashley and rian very generously watched Scarlett on friday {thanks guys!} while i attended a conference for work. more on that and my mom-brain* later. when i came home, we allowed Scarlett to entertain us with coos, smiles and spit-ups for a while before ashley put her cool blue ray bans on the small babe. immedes ALL THREE OF US got out our iphones and were snapping away to capture the familiar pose like we were the first to invent sunglasses on a baby. like maniacs! we couldn't be stopped. i mean, why is this funny and cute? i have no idea. an eighth wonder? i particularly like how she is looking away as if saying 'what? i know i'm cool.'

Happy Halloween!

{her costume is very literal if you are having trouble figuring it out}

some wrong guesses from smart and clever people who knew her name included - hot blooded, baby fever, saturday night fever, she's got the fever, red hot, thermometer, love child, little hottie, she's your patient...

still haven't guessed it? Scarlett Fever! yes, we dressed up our newborn child as a disease for halloween. daddy dave loves halloween costumes that require you to figure it out. his first choice was for him and me to dress as puritan settlers and have Scarlett wear all black with nothing but an "A" on her shirt. clever for the literary buff in each of us, but vetoed nonetheless. poor Scarlett will never be able to wear classic and cute costumes. {at least not until she can pick her own}

past costumes from mamma mags and daddy dave

{halloween '06, not pictured is the large rope we had tying us together all night}

{halloween '07, two months after our wedding}

{halloween '09, unfortch, we didn't actually win a hundred million dollars that year}

{bay to breakers '10, most common question of the day: are you really pregnant?}

as you can tell, daddy dave also loves costumes that require him to wear/carry/affix-to-himself something extremely large and cumbersome. did you see any good and clever costumes this year? hope you all had a happy and fun halloween!