how have i never read any of this before? tracy moore is my new fave mom-author-cynical genious. do you think she wants to be my new best friend?
backstory: i recently told my friend beth a story about a mean old humpback at whole food's bistro who was none too delighted at Scarlett's
baby babble pointing and screaming tactic to get your attention. (which is a whole 'nother pain in my arse these days, but i digress). despite it's fancy nomiker, wholefies b (as i like to call it) is a cafe opening up to a
grocery store, not a michelin rated french establishment or a funeral home where silence and best behavior are expected; children discouraged.
boring story short, the woman turned around with a squinchy face and said,
"hhm, it's getting a little difficult..." as she squinched her nose at Scarlett. i don't know what squinch means, perhaps i just made it up, but it's the only word to describe her contorted face, squinched with disgust at my baby. i stared at her for second because she didn't actually finish her sentence...she noticed and repeated herself,
"it's getting a little difficult..."
what's getting difficult, lady?
oh, oh, i could tell you what's difficult!...but i kind of have a headache and just want to get to the better part of this blog post...plus, Scarlett was being a little difficult.
fast forward to why i can't stop laughing: last night, beth emailed me an aprapos article entitled,
"where, exactly, is it okay to take your kid?", written by Moore, which lists whole foods as an universally innapropriate place to take your kid. touche.
this led me to
jezebel, and a pleothora of articles written by moore and other brillantly hysterical commentators on motherhood, pregnancy, pooping and the like under jezebel's
motherload subheading. I kept wanting more and more, she's so damn funny! and more importantly, so damn TRUE! spot on, i tell you. hysterical. go read immediately! GO!
some of my favorites (and new anthems on life and motherhood) are listed below:
i'll be checking back frequently for more laughs for sure. you?
now, how to deal with what's getting a little difficult...