honesty corner

sometimes, even when i hear that Scarlett has woken up from her nap with little coos and noises, i don't go in her room until i hear she's fussing.

i worry this is unacceptable mother behavior because once, on teen mom, they showed amber, the one who hits her boyfriend gary, lying in bed with the back of her hand resting dramatically over her eyes while the baby was awake in the crib in the other room. it was portrayed as a very bad thing.

um, pretty sure i've done exactly that. minus the hitting the boyfriend part.

sometimes i want to stare momentarily into space or finish clipping my toenails or actually unload the dishwasher before i resume as full time entertainer for the baby S.

is this allowed? or does this make me a horrible mother rivaling an mtv reality star? {keeping my fingers crossed for the former}

forward motion

snuggle time

at nana's (david's gramma) in texas. is there anything better than snuggling with your little love?

christmas dress

Scarlett is wearing a christmas dress that her great-grandmother opal made for her aunt christine twenty something years ago. it's beautiful and in perfect condition, repaired by great aunt mary-o for Scarlett's first christmas. love handmade family heirlooms like this! having fantasies about Scarlett's future baby girl wearing this already.

christmas tree/christmas card fail.

there is no way i am the only woman in the history of the world who has made her husband return a christmas tree. don't get me wrong, i love christmas tree decorating and the amazing smell of an evergreen from december through mid feb {because, lets be honest, there is no chance of it getting de-decorated and taken out to the trash before that}.

it sounds so absurdly cliche to tell a story of a husband bringing home an oversized tree, and i really don't mean to be a grinch of a wife,  but this tree was seven feet tall with a six foot diameter. i measured. our living room is about 12x12, with furniture that only leaves about 6x6 of open floor space. do the math. it had to go!

we returned to the tree lot and came home with an appropriately sized four and a half foot tree that works perfectly in our small city living space. after tree decorating, there were no fewer that one hundred pictures taken in attempt to capture the perfect christmas card photo of baby Scarlett. this was another fail.

true or false, she looks like a baby jesus manger figurine in this picture? unintended, i promise. {i'm sure all the nuns from my 16 years of catholic education are not happy with me comparing my child to the baby jesus.} regardless, you'll have to wait for the mail to see our actual christmas card slash turned into a happy new year card because i waited too long to order the prints...until then...

MERRY CHRISTMAS! 

where have I been this week?

working. working. working. 

and just in case i forgot how cute Scarlett was while i was at work today, shelley sent me this pic when they had lunch together.

{please note the adorbs double pom pom hat}

i love you little baby! mamma misses you so much!

tired.

 

me. not her. but she's got the cuter picture. 

basket of fun

why do i feel like i was the first person in the world to invent putting a baby in a laundry basket? she loved it! perfect containment while mamma got pretty this morning.

{by pretty I mean brushing my teeth. and morning is a very liberal term}

bath time talking

to the toy turtle, to the mamma and to the toes.

quinoa

i was so energized from successfully making baby food for Scarlett that i even made myself a healthy lunch! left over red quinoa {from dinner last night} mixed with fresh organic chopped spinach, a little olive oil, balsamic vin and shaved parm. yums.

fyi, this is a rare occurrence. the healthy part and the lunch part. i don't even know what i've been eating these last five months. nothing good or good for me, i'm sure. lunch gets kind of lost in the day while of taking care of a newborn. but now that she is eating healthy big people food, shouldn't i too?

also, ps, quinoa is my new fave food to make. just like making rice, but easier and quicker.
2 parts water to 1 part quinoa.
boil water.
add quinoa.
cover.
turn off heat.
sit for 13.
done.

serve warm for din instead of rice or potatoes. but save the leftovers in the fridge. add anything to it as a salad for lunch the next day. so easy and so delicious and so nutritious. it's a whole grain and a protein, low carb, gluten free. perfect! now if only i could figure out how to pronounce it correctly...

sweet pea and the triple b

i went to the triple b today and purchased a cuisinart immersion blender {with the 20% off coupon, obvs}. i'd wanted one of these for a long time and finally bought one under the guise of its necessity in making homemade baby food. i immediately went home and {unnecessarily} used every single attachment piece to make organic sweet peas {and a mess} for sweet Scarlett. 

{recipe plus great info about introducing slash making baby food in this cookbook}

 {thanks for the great present aunt christine!}

as expected, the first veggie trial did not go so well.

Scarlett wailed in her outside voice, "dubs-t is this mamma?" don't think she made one swallow. the eating of the first vegetable trial was over pretty quickly. 

later on though i struck a genius cord and remembered the cookbook suggested mixing it with a little rice cereal. i added some pumped ta-ta mums to thin it out and create the illusion of familiarity. perfect solution. she ate it all up! yay for veggies!

and yay for mamma's new toy! totes love it. more recipes, stories and pictures about homemade baby food to come. i'm so excited!

What foods has your baby loved? How did you make it? Any fave recipes or suggestions?

happy stories and adventures to come, proms. i've got the next three days completely off and will spend every minute with the little b.

oh! what to do? what to do?

good night turned sad night

tonight i came home to a happily sleeping baby, the laundry washed, the dishes clean, a frozen pizza and an open bottle of wine. all without asking! made coming home from working a twelve an a half hour shift not so bad. aaahh, relaxation. thanks daddy dave!
   

 

 

d and i were enjoying a nice night together and i was feeling good about being back at work...until...the baby woke up. i let her cry for ten minutes like we normally do, but it was more brutal than before because i hadn't seen her all day. i went in to give her the pacie and i just couldn't help picking her up to calm her down and to get a little selfish snuggle for myself too. however, when i picked her up she started screaming even harder. what? mind racing. what was wrong? more teething? fever? something else? i tried to console her but all my usual tricks weren't working. i tried to nurse her but she refused and continued to cry. oh my. i was starting to panic and became really concerned because this was very unusual. i called for david, "help! what do you think is wrong?" david came in the room, i handed her to him and she immediately stopped crying. instant change. and then she even smiled at him.

whaaatt?

dev-a-sta-ted. seriously. heart = broken. in a million pieces. she was crying like never before and i couldn't console her and then david came in and she was instantly smiling? i mean, i'm glad that she has special time with daddy, but how could she forget da mamma so soon?

i totally get now why working mammas spoil their children. it's not about the babes, it about us!

look who has a tooth!

cool dad

david is a fantastic husband and father who is totally in love with me and Scarlett. {we are so lucky! he is amazing!} while he has incredible talents, being hip is not one of them. sometimes he can play the part of the cool dad, like when i buy him expensive sunglasses, 

but he's not kidding me, i know what the future holds...



why do men think socks and sandals are allowed? totally illegal! the girl jumping out of the minivan is killing me. that's totes daddy dave and Scarlett in a few years.

thanks to david's dad for sending this video along. classic. my dad completely fits this bill too, espesh about the bbq and the gas station sunglasses. oh jeez. i can't even get started. 

what about your dad? spouse? boyfriend? partner? current or future father of your children? what other cool dads are out there?

fyi

based on feedback from readers, i've changed the comments settings so you no longer have to be a registered user to leave a comment.

and you don't have to type in those nonsensical letter combos either. which i can never even tell what they are anyway, all smushed together and drooping like a dali painting. so i guess. and then, of course, get frustrated when i ultimately guess wrong. and end up not leaving a comment or buying those concert tickets because of it. argh!

well, i don't want you to have that sort of frustration in your life because of my blog. but i do want your comments, feedback, commiserations and exclamations! so comment away my friends.

Scarlett will be watching you.

thanksgiving feast 2

while Scarlett was enjoying her first meal of rice cereal, auntie k, margy and i made and enjoyed this:

happy to report that i am still eating leftovers of auntie k's sweet potatoes. yes, i know it's almost a week later, but they are still sooooo goooood.

along with cooking, i tried to be a little crafty this thanksgiving and was so excited for myself when i thought of making our chalkboard into a "thankfulness" board. in my imagination, it would have perfectly cute fall themed cutouts in an array of autumn colors and everyone would be so jealous at how adorable and martha-stewart-y it was. you know, the "ugh! i wish i was that creative and crafty" type jealousy. {don't try to tell me i'm the only one who's ever felt that!} well, no need to have that feeling here!

mamma's crafty thanksgiving project equals totally lame. at least aesthetically. it was fun to do, and, c'mon, you have to be oohing and ahhing at the tiny little Scarlett hand cutout. next up, christmas decorations! or maybe i'll just stick with that i know is a definite crowd pleaser for the upcoming holiday - mashed potatoes!

thankful

i've never been more thankful for anything in my entire life. 

healthy. happy. baby. 

thanksgiving feast

in honor of celebrating the holiday based on eating, here are some pics of Scarlett's first experience with food. organic brown rice cereal, YUMS!

excited about it.

trying it.

eeeehhh. 

i'm good with foot.
 

tears

third morning back to work there were tears when i left. from me, not her. when i am saying goodbye to this, how could there not be?

i may or may not being crying again right now just looking at this picture. ok, i am. any contact high from the excitement of the first day back has definitely worn off. ugh, this is hard.

pumping.

there was a major negative about returning to work i am sad to report {other than leaving Scarlett}.

pumping. pumping-schlumping. 

pumping in the pumping room {read: closet} with the constant fear that someone will ignore the "in use" sign and walk right on in. i positioned the chair so the door would hit the chair first to avoid any serious awkwardness. it is not attractive to see someone pumping breastmilk. it's horrifiying actually. suction cups. oh god.

um, also sucks to try to eat and pee and breathe and get da milk for da baby and check facebook in an already rushed break. and now i'm the crazy bag lady. pumping bag. freezer cooler bag. lunch bag. work bag. over it. but i still want to nurse, so wtf?

and by nurse, i guess i mean both meanings; nursing to feed my baby and nursing as my occupation.

back to work

last tuesday was my first day back to work after five months {so nice!} of maternity leave. it wasnt as hard as i imagined it to be. i cried the day before in anticipation of leaving Scarlett, but not when i actually left. i was pleasantly surprised by how the day went.

i think i was so nervous because i was dreading returning to the worst of the worst days of work. and in recent memory, those days were baa-aad {solely due to pregnancy}. i even laughed to myself on the drive that, wow, this is the first time in over a year that i've driven to work without feeling like absolute crap-o-la. i kind of forgot what it feels like to not feel like i'm going to barf all over town as soon as i get in the car. or like my head is spinning. or like i need to pull over to pee on the side of the road. or like i have to basically lay horizontal low rider style while driving so i can breathe. the drive was relaxing and i even got to work a little early! 

the first day was like the first day back at school except i was only one who left for summer break. i even packed my lunch and laid out my scrubs the night before! i felt popular and like sally field winning her second oscar, "you like me, you really like me!" with lots of high pitched hellos, how are yous, so good to see yous from excited co-workers.

i was a babbling fool all day. anyone and everyone who so much as glanced my direction from the attending physicians to the housekeeping staff were immediately informed, "today is my first day back from maternity leave! yes, a girl! her name is Scarlett! of course i have pictures!" with a too loud proud mamma voice and obscene toothy grin while shoving my iphone in their face; fave pics of baby S cued up.

i was sooo nervous about actually working because i was convinced i had lost all brain connectivity and the ability to think quickly for my patients. thankfully for me, i had an "easy assignment." thankfully for my patients, i surprised myself and remembered how to be a nurse. phew!

i wasn't too ocd with the babysitter either. i restricted myself to one text to check in with her. the hubs, however, may have gotten upwards of 50. but he already knows i'm crazy and i can't afford to scare the sitter away yet.

all in all, the day was almost empowering. like, hey, i can do this.  and of course, Scarlett is still alive and well, so that's a major plus. this isn't so horrific. i'm a working mom! si se puede!

busy last week

lots of happenings this last week - started work, david's mom nana sue visiting, aunt mo & uncle john & cousins visiting, setting up scarlett's nursery, rolling over and over and over, & starting rice cereal!! stories and pictures coming soon.

well, hello!

well, hello! look at me, I just rolled over!

pretty flowers

pretty flowers from the hubs after first day back. thanks love.

packed and ready

healthy breakfast and lunch packed in eco-friendly glass containers the night before first day back to work.

{let's see how long this lasts}

self control

i had to use serious self control to not purchase one of these from babygap last friday. my struggle at the store lied not only in knowing that these will eventually go on sale so i couldn't possibly justify paying full price, but also in not being able to decide which color i loved the most!

this time tomorrow

I will be at work. WORKING!

Trying to savor my last day of maternity leave.

scarlett & milly

Scarlett and Milly are besties. they don't actually know it yet. nor do they have the mental capacity to interact meaningfully with one another at this developmental stage. but they've hung out a bunch! usually sleeping in their strollers while us mammas walk and talk. about them. in front of them! outrage! one day they'll be able to say, "stop talkin' about me like i'm not here, mamma," a la shelby, steel magnolias, 1989. but, until then, the bitch sessions about our daughters not sleeping supportive mom convos will continue.

the Mills and Scarletta had a rare out of the stroller interaction at nick's crispy tacos this afternoon. both choose the fried fish tacos, nick's style. correct choice.

Scarett wonders, why are you upset, Mills? is it because i wore almost matching trendy trumpette socks? next time call ahead and we can coordinate! and you can borrow my headband if i can borrow your hat that the stranger lady complimented. thats what besties do!

sidenote: Milly is the daughter of my online mom friend, beth. today we reached another level in the friendship ladder: lunch with the husbands and another couple. wow, its getting super serious now. maybe i can stop calling her my online mom friend and graduate to a proper plain friend label? what do you think dating experts?

someone must be teething

constantly a finger on the gums and its drool city over here.

time with tia

tia katy is one of the hardest working friends i know. she's a 'zing assistant principal and teacher at a KIPP school in the east bay. awesome work. we were so happy when tia had a rare day off (thanks veterans!) on thursday and was able to have adventures with us. she also loves Scarlett, and spoils her, like a real relative, hence the designation tia.

we started with a 4 mile walk through golden gate park to the rose garden and back.

there were no roses in bloom and i actually took this pic in the san diego rose garden, but, i wanted a visual. you get the idea.

next we stopped to see tia katy's aunt, tia ann, and meet her new baby, the puppy, Bo. this photo by margy. serious sweetness.

after all that activity, it was time for a leisurely lunch at cafe du soleil. 

 

love sf cafes, even better on a sunny beautiful day. deelish. kate enjoyed a nice glass of red wine. jealous. 

i did indulge in some chocolate, though, while also indulging in tia holding/playing/singing/obsessing over the babe. 

i don't know who loves the other more. its very mutual. spesh when tia sings little mermaid. definite crowd-pleaser.

want to know what 'zing means? watch the most recent epidsode of tia katy's (and my) fave show, 30Rock. and, ps, tia is the queen of word shorts, i totes def steal mats from her.

giggles

seriously. heart exploding with love and wonder. i know what other moms are talking about when they say your love keeps growing. exponential growth after hearing a real giggle! unbelievable, its like a drug. high as a kite with happiness right now.

{please excuse my weird noises i am making to induce her giggles, but if you're a mom, you understand. i'll do anything to get more of this addicting baby crack laughter}

more sunnies

apparently, it doesn't get old. these sunnies and the pic courtesy of auntie k.

receding hairline

i was told about the hair loss. it was going to start falling out after the baby was born. no biggie, i've got thick hair.

um, i wasn't prepared for the balding!!

when does this stop? do i need hair club for men slash new mammas? is it safe to use rogaine while breastfeeding? serious clumps, constantly in my hands, on the floor, all over Scarlett.  

gross. 

i had good hair prebaby! wtf-skis? someone please give me promising news. seriously, when does this stop?

blowing bubbles

new fave trick: blowing spit bubbles

new york in the fall

meghann's neighborhood is beyond beautiful and we had a great time walking around with scarlett, step and mac. we were quite the stroller brigade! {but, yes, scarlett had her own stroller, this was just for the picture}

 

it was so wonderful to see the leaves changing and breathe the crisp air. ah, new york in the fall.

{i was glad it was for the weekend only, though. i know what comes after fall, and i don't do well in freezing-cold-ness.}